Pressurised
by Voldemort's Lovechild
Summary: Draco is a malfoy, which means he's under alot of pressure to stick to tradition, whilst battling his ever-more powerful feelings for a certain scarred hero. however, there's one problem- Harry isn't fooled. Warning-mature content within. disclaimer: ME.NO.OWN! There is only one queen of witchcraft stories, and she sure as hell aint me! Hermione also features heavily within plot.
1. Prologue

**Prologue- Draco**

I was a monster, influenced by so many people it was too hard to remember who I really was. But, then again, who I was happened to be the reason I was stood at the top of the stupid, fucking tower in the first place. _Voldemort's bum-chum, precious in-breeds, pure-blood prejudiced prick, scummy serpents. _These were all the things that a Slytherin was regarded as by the rest of Hogwarts. But what if we weren't born like that? What if we had no choice?  
'Draco, what the fuck are you doing? Come away from the edge, you'll die!'  
Carefully, I turned to face the boy who rescued everyone, who tried to save me...who turned my life to shit. His strikingly green, almond-shaped eyes were widened in shock, and as he took in what I was about to do, they suddenly filled with a hurt that I was all-too familiar with.  
'That's the point, Potter.'  
Slowly, I drew out my wand from my back pocket.  
'Draco, please. Don't do this. Get down and we'll talk it out. Please, Draco, for me. I love you.'  
I pointed the wand at his now tear-stricken face.  
'_OBLIVIATE_!'  
As his eyes slowly unfocused, I bent down and kissed the top of his scarred forehead.  
'I love you too.'  
I closed my eyes, and fell...


	2. First Impressions

**First Impressions- Harry**

Everything was a bit overwhelming. One minute, I was the loneliest guy in the world, stuck with relatives who never seemed to realise they permanently have rods shoved up their arses, and the next, some bearded bloke told me that,  
'You're a wizard, Harry'.  
What the hell does that even mean?! And then, to top it all off, he takes me to this street and everybody knows my name! Had they been stalking me from birth or something? The events that followed are all a bit of a blurred mess of memories, but one memory I can't get out of my mind...the boy in Madam Malkin's. Hagrid (the bearded bloke) had gone for a pint in The Leaky Cauldron, so when it came to buying my school robes, I was left to my own devices. Nervous, I walked into the shop and my heart stopped. Standing on a stool near the door was the most beautiful person I'd ever seen. He was tall for his age, with straight, slightly floppy hair so blonde it was almost white. His eyes were a stormy-grey colour, and seemed to be full of a grim determination, as though he were going through some kind of disgusting experience, like wiping muck off a shoe. The small, stout witch attending to him suddenly spotted me slouching in the doorway, and hurried over.  
'Hello, dear. Hogwarts too?'  
Still transfixed by the boy on the stool, I nodded absent-mindedly. I'd known I was gay since I was about 8, when I developed a crush on the owner of the Co-op at the end of Wisteria Walk., but never in my life had my sexuality been so prominent until now. He spotted me looking at him through the reflection in the mirror, which looked from me to him and mumbled incoherently in his ear. The boy turned to look at me, gave a quick smile, and turned back to the mirror.  
'Here you are, dear.'  
She placed me on a stool next to the boy. Bitch. As she started pinning robes around my shoulders, the boy turned to look at me, and opened his mouth...

**First Impressions- Draco**

I was Draco Malfoy, son of the infamous Lucius, and descendant of the noble house of Black. Son of a Death Eater, a pure-blood, evil scumbag. I was expected to grow up in such a way that, one day, my father would be able to look at me and see his reflection. But, secretly, I was different. I tried to be kind, embracing of others. It was the pressure of tradition, rather than my personality, that turned me into what they all expected to see; my father was not a man to cross. Thankfully, he was buying my wand, whilst my mother, Narcissa, went to purchase my school books. I took this moment of peace to go and buy my robes without my father hassling me. I had been in Madam Malkin's for about 10 minutes, when the door opened. Assuming it was my father, come to bully me into wearing the ridiculous family crest, I kept looking determinedly at the mirror, until I saw a boy standing in the doorway, talking to Madam Malkin. He was rather short and skinny, with messy jet-black hair, round glasses, and eyes so green it was like looking at a newly mown Quidditch pitch. My god, he was gorgeous. He ran his fingers through his already tangled hair nervously, and as he did so, he involuntarily flexed his bicep. He was literally skin and bones. And then I noticed the scar. The blood-red scar, shaped like a bolt of lightning. The scar, the embarrassed expression, the nervous posture, it all added up. I was gawping at Harry Potter. _The _Harry Potter. By my own mind, my hero. By tradition, my nemesis. I turned and gave him a quick smile, which he responded to by grinning shyly. Suddenly, I felt a rush of blood travel rapidly southwards, and looked down with trepidation. There was a noticeable bulge between my legs. Cock. Literally. I jumped as the mirror mumbled,  
'Could do worse,'  
in my ear. I mentally shook myself. I was a Malfoy for fuck's sake! Pure-blood, cold-hearted arseholes weren't allowed to be gay, let alone get boners over 'The Boy Who Lived'. Whilst this inner babble was going on, Madam Malkin led Harry to the stool right next to me. Bitch. Trying to conceal my erection as much as possible, I turned and opened my mouth to speak to him.  
'Hullo, Hogwarts too?'...


	3. Trying In Vain

**Trying in Vain- Harry  
**I'd tried not to think about it. About _him_. About the way my crotch tingled every time he popped into my brain. No, I couldn't deal with this now, I had to focus. _Well, I'll see you at school, I suppose_. How I wished we could be together, just friends even. How it hurt me to know I couldn't let it happen. Not with a wannabe Slytherin. I'm all for giving people the benefit of the doubt, but from what Hagrid had told me, Slytherin house had turned out way too many wizard equivalents to Hitler to be trustworthy. I was way too preoccupied to hear Uncle Vernon's sneer of  
'Have a good term.'  
the sound of his stumpy footsteps fading away pulled me out of my reverie. There was no platform 9 ¾. What the fuck was I going to do now? Conscious of the fact that I was both attracting too much attention, and rapidly running out of time, I felt my face begin to burn. Had it all been part of some Dursley joke to break me completely, or was it that they'd changed their minds? On the upside, this would mean I'd never have to make excuses for my sticky sheets anymore- the boy would never give me chills again.  
'Packed with muggles, of course, come on.'  
My heart leapt and sank at the same time- no escaping it now. I followed the red-headed witch's kids up to the barrier, and then stopped dead. They were disappearing. No joke, they'd walk straight at the barrier, and then just vanish. I sighed, resigned to having to ask strangers for guidance in a world I was only just beginning to understand.  
'Excuse me,'  
'Hogwarts, dear? Ron's new too.' She gestured to a tall, gangly boy to her right, who looked like he'd rather digest his own bile than be introduced to a stranger.  
'Yes, the thing is, I don't know how to...'  
'How to get on to the platform? All you need to do is walk straight at the barrier between platforms nine and ten. Best do at a run if you're nervous. Go now, before Ron.'  
She gave me a slight push, and, with hesitation, I sprinted at the wall, hoping it would knock all thoughts of the boy's floppy hair out of my mind. Unfortunately though, I went straight through it, where the magnificent steam train was waiting for me. I gazed in awe at the fountains of steam pouring out of the chimney thing, and then made a start on hoisting my trunk into a carriage (not a euphemism), and, with some help from the red-haired lady's twins, found myself a compartment. After about 5 minutes, the gangly boy, Ron sat opposite, and tried to engage in conversation. I responded with enthusiasm, unsuccessfully trying to block out all images of a certain blonde boy. Ron was on the point of trying to turn his rat yellow, when a buck-toothed, frizzy haired girl (called Hermione, which is an unusual name for a muggle to call their kid) came in. After a rather bossy exchange of words, she buggered off again, leaving Ron looking furious.  
'Whatever house I get, I hope she's not...'  
He trailed off as the door slid open again, and the most beautiful boy in the world re-entered my mind, and an all-too familiar stiffness re-entered my trousers. After the inevitable pointing out of who I was (I mean no shit, what do they think the scar is, a tattoo?), he introduced himself whilst I tried in vain to keep my dignity.  
'My name's Malfoy, by the way. Draco Malfoy.'  
Harry Malfoy. The thought flew through my mind before I could stop it, making the bulge in my pants feel all the more prominent. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Ron had noticed my attempts to hide my erection. He caught my eye and sniggered. Draco, however, took this the wrong way.  
'Think my name's funny, do you? No need to ask who you are. My father told me all the Weasleys have red hair, freckles, and more children than they can afford. Some wizarding families are better than others, Potter. You don't want to go mixing with the wrong sort. I can help you there.'  
He held out his hand for me to shake, but I was too preoccupied with the spike my hormones went through when he said my name to notice. Ron, however, decided he would respond for me.  
'I think he can tell who the wrong sorts are for himself, thanks.'  
My head snapped up. How dare he talk to Draco like that! Ok, he'd been provoked, but Draco had got the wrong end of the stick! I turned back to Draco, to apologise for the knob cheese sat next to me, but he'd gone. Instead, the spot where he'd been standing was now occupied by an angry ginger.  
'Me, riff-raff? At least I'm not an evil faggot!'  
This brought me back to my senses.  
'How do you know he's gay? And what, exactly, would be wrong with that anyway? Don't be so quick to judge! You wouldn't like it if I called you a ginger minger all the time, so just back off!'  
Ron did a double-take, a wide sneer spreading across his freckly face.  
'OOOOOOO! Seem to have touched a queer nerve there! I saw you trying to cover up your boner when he was talking to you. Who'd have thought it, eh? The boy who lived, the supposedly tough cookie more of a fairy cake? Is that why the muggles don't like you, 'cause they're scared you'll try and...'  
THWACK! My fist connected with his face so hard that his nose exploded with blood, and he curled up, crying with pain. Shaking with rage, I walked to the door, and turned to look at him, now lying on the seat, positively howling.  
'Who's the fairy now, beefcake?'  
I slammed the door shut, and went to find Draco, to apologise.

**Sorry if anyone has any issues with the homophobia of Ron, I myself hate it, which is why I've included it in this Drarry fic. I'll update as soon as possible! R & R please! **


	4. Unexpected Miracles

**Unexpected Miracles- Draco  
**

I stormed out of the compartment, and sprinted down the corridor to an empty compartment, shut the door, and then collapsed onto a seat, tears streaming down my thin, pointed face. I'd fucked up, big time. Why had I reacted like that? I answered my own question almost immediately. _Father taught me well. _Harry would never talk to me now. He didn't even look at my hand, for fuck's sake.  
'Draco? Draco, its Harry. Can I sit down?'  
I looked up, dreading the sight of the boy in front of me, and the effect he would have. Sure enough, as soon as I met his almond-shaped, grass-green, concern-filled eyes, with mine, the hardness in my underpants returned. Shakily, I nodded to the seat opposite. He sat down, and leaned over.  
'Draco, he wasn't laughing at you. Honestly, he wasn't. He sniggered because I was trying to hide a very obvious secret...'  
He went silent, his bony, yet beautiful face pleading with me to believe him.  
'He basically called me an abomination. And I heard him call me a faggot. I only wanted to make friends, but I had to react. Now you'll never like me.'  
The last part slipped out without warning, and I looked quickly at Harry, to see his reaction. He grimaced.  
'Don't worry about that, the stupid twat got what he deserved. I made sure of that. Besides,'  
he took hold of my right hand, and placed it on the hard lump between his legs.  
'I think it's too late for me not to like you, Draco.'  
He let go of my hand, and fell silent again, this time due to embarrassment. He looked down, and I saw that his face was also now shining with tears, as though he didn't think himself worthy. How little he knew. Slowly, I lifted his chin up, and bent my face towards him. I touched his lips gently for a moment, and then sat back, anxious of what he would say. His eyes were closed, and his mouth still pouted, kissing the air. I reached over and put his right hand on my stiff crotch.  
'I like you too, Harry.'  
Harry looked at me, his eyes roaming from mine right down to my erection. Then, without warning, he crushed his lips against mine, and I melted into him. My hands reached round to embrace him, one on his back, and one in his tangled mop of hair. When he poked his tongue into my mouth, I thought I would explode with happiness. I don't know how long we were snogging for, but we finally broke apart when we heard footsteps coming down the corridor. I grinned guiltily at him.  
'We are eleven. We shouldn't know how to do that.'  
'I'm glad we do! I'm looking forward to doing that all over again, but at the moment I think we should probably get changed. Special note- whilst you are doing this, I will be staring at your arse.'  
I mock-slapped him on the arm, and then reached for my robes, thankfully not knowing the consequences of what I was getting myself into.


	5. Sorting Our Lives Out (part 1)

**Sorting Our Lives Out- Harry**

It was better than I could ever have imagined. I had just spent the last half an hour or so snogging Draco Abraxas (he had to admit his middle name to earn another kiss) Malfoy and it was utter bliss. When I finally managed to peel myself away from him for the second time, after we'd changed into our school robes, the train began to slow down. Draco looked out of the window and then turned back to grin at me- Showtime. When the train finally stopped, we shared a short but passionate kiss, and then tried to find out where to go.  
'Firs' years! Over 'ere! Alright there, Harry?'  
I followed the sound of Hagrid's voice to a flock of boats at the edge of an enormous, midnight black lake. I turned, expecting to see my new boyfriend smiling beautifully down at me, but he'd vanished from sight. Assuming he'd already gone, I sighed resignedly, and joined the boat with bossy Hermione, homophobic Ronald, and a black-haired, slightly chubby boy called Neville, who's toad decided to plant itself directly under Ron's arse, causing him to jump out of his skin and almost topple the boat over.  
'He's a bit of a retard, isn't he?'  
I turned to Hermione, slightly surprised that this seemingly snobby girl would say something like that under her breath, not even directly to the person in question.  
'He is a bit. He called me a fairy, just because I stuck up for someone whom he called a fag.'  
The expression on her face suddenly darkened, as though she knew the feeling.  
'That's awful, I'm sorry, Harry. If it's any consolation, though, I know what you're going through. I swing both ways if you know what I mean.'  
She smiled bitterly, and I nodded and gave her an attempt at a re-assuring smile, but I think I must have come across bitter as well, because she leant forwards, a look of severe determination on her rosy-cheeked face.  
'We'll show those fucker's we can take anything life force down our throats. We'll beat those bastards, and then we'll see who the better sexuality is!'  
I opened my mouth to congratulate her on being so brave, when the boat stopped at the castle gate. Standing in the doorway was a tall, fairly old woman, who looked like a total badass. She had her hair, sleek, dark grey and shiny, tied up in a tight bun at the nape of her neck. She spoke with a faint Scottish accent, as though she hadn't been to her homeland for a while. She introduced herself as 'Professor McGonagall', and led us to a large hall, where she told us to wait patiently, though she gave the impression that she wanted us to tidy ourselves up. Suddenly, my sight was cut off, as a low chuckle sounded in my ear.  
'Guess who?'  
'Hmm, let me think. Tall, smells of teenage B.O. and acne pus. Is it my boyfriend?'  
I turned to smile cheekily at him, when a scream made me practically shit my pants as I jumped about a foot in the air. Several silvery-white figures had appeared straight through a solid wall.  
'New students! About to be sorted, I suppose?'  
The ghost who had spoken was very fat, and, wearing what looked like an over-sized potato sack, looked rather like a very cheerful monk. I looked at Draco, to share a 'what the fuck' look with him, but the expression I was greeted with nearly made me laugh out loud. His long, pointed chin had sunk even further, making his mouth form a perfect oval, and his eyes were popping out of their sockets. In other words, short of unbuckling his belt, he looked like a very gormless rapist. It was _so _adorable. Before I had a chance to think it through, I stretched up and kissed him, sticking my tongue firmly in his mouth, my hands wandering all over his back. He responded passionately, almost lifting off my feet. A small cough sounded behind us, and we broke apart, only to be faced by Professor McGonagall.  
'Please follow me. The sorting hat is waiting for you.'  
The stern tone in her voice was still strong, but there was a slight twitch in her cheek and a twinkle in her eye, as though she was trying not smile. As we walked into the great hall, I heard many mutterings about mine and Draco's open affection for one another, some good and some not so.  
'That was adorable! I hope they stay like that!'  
'I thought I was going to puke. That was gross!'  
'Bloody queers! Can't they rim each other somewhere else?'  
To truly piss off the homophobes, I put my arm around Draco's waist, and he put his arm around my shoulders. _Nothing will separate us, no matter what they think._ How wrong I was...


	6. Sorting Our Lives Out (part 2)

**Sorting Our Lives Out- Draco**

'Malfoy, Draco.'  
I smiled weakly at Harry, and gave him thumbs up as he patted my back reassuringly. _Just because you are the descendant of Slytherins doesn't make you one. You aren't evil, Draco. You will be fine_. I took the hat off the stool, and sat down rather shakily. I figured it would probably talk to me about the decision, but it didn't.  
'SLYTHERIN!'  
I got up, placed the hat back on the stool, and walked slowly over to the Slytherin table, keeping my head down to hide my weeping eyes. I could imagine what he'd say to me...he'd want nothing to do with the son of a death eater. _It would never have worked anyway, you were deluding yourself. _I kept the traditional Malfoy smirk on my face, and jeered with the rest of the house, but I had to use all of my acting skills to pull off this facade- it felt like I was suffocating.  
'Potter, Harry.'  
My heart skipped a beat. I looked up; knowing that this was the moment we would be thrust apart for ever more, and sighed..._he'd had such a nice arse. I'm not allowed to ogle anymore._ Suddenly, I noticed that Harry was muttering something. I squinted to try and read his lips, and then had to restrain myself from bursting into joyful tears- he was mouthing  
'put me in Slytherin, put me in Slytherin...'  
I crossed my fingers, hardly daring to believe it.  
'GRYFFINDOR!'  
My heart returned to its previously sunken position. It was always too good to be true. I looked up. The whole hall had gone deadly silent as Harry, instead of going to join the Gryffindors, did the bravest thing imaginable. He walked over to the Slytherin table, and bent down in front of me.  
'I know I only just arrived at school, but I want the whole of Hogwarts to bear witness. I, as the sorting hat has just declared, am a Gryffindor, _where dwell the brave at heart._ And so I hope to live up to that stereotype by abolishing another stereotype to do with the houses.'  
He turned to me, his eyes full of tears, and continued to speak, his voice rather shakier than it was before.  
'I know that, according to tradition, we should now be deadly enemies, but I want to know why. You are the best, most beautiful guy I know, and just because you are in Slytherin it does not mean that my view is going to change, no matter what anyone thinks of me. I guess what I'm trying to say, Draco, is that I know we've only been together since this morning, but I love you. I really do, and anyone who tries to stop me can fuck the hell off!'  
There was a very awkward pause, and harry stood up, and turned to address the headmaster.  
'I apologise for that interruption, Professor, but it needed to be said.'  
Looking slightly embarrassed he began to walk to the other side of the hall, back to the Gryffindor when a shout made him stop in his tracks.  
'No faggots allowed, Potter! We don't like the bumming kind in our dorm, thanks. Go back to where you came from, queer!'  
At this point, the teachers all began to rise from their chairs, but I didn't give them the chance.  
'_FURNUNCULOUS_!'  
I was surprised that my voice wasn't the only one shouting the curse. Ignoring Weasley's struggles with his now pus-splattered face, I looked past him to a girl with brown, rather bushy hair, wearing an expression torn between disgust and triumph. Recovering myself, I walked up to Harry, and without any hesitation whatsoever, kissed him full on the mouth, not even bothering to think about the occupants of the hall. When I finally ran out of oxygen, we broke apart and I grinned at him, bursting with euphoria.  
'I love you too, by the way.'  
I gave him one last hug, and then walked back over to the Slytherin table, and watched the stunned expressions on the faces of the other students. I guess we just made Hogwarts interesting...


	7. Circumstantial

**Circumstantial- Hermione**

**Warning: This chapter contains the theme of abuse, both psychological, and sexual. Not for the faint-hearted potterheads among you. Sorry it took so long to update, but I had to put in a lot of thought. R&R PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEASE!**

Ronald Weasley was a twatbucket. There was no other way to describe it. He was bigoted, arrogant, self-obsessed, and was constantly of the impression that any girl he spoke to would want to immediately suck him off. Man, he made me want to vomit! It was a shame really, because his brothers, Fred and George, were the opposite, which came in very handy as they could beat the shit out of him for me without being too reprimanded by the other brother, Percy, who seemed alright, but a little pompous. A bit like what outsiders saw me as. Well, after primary school, they could either like me, or fuck off out of my life, 'cause I really couldn't deal with that kind of stress anymore, and neither could my parents. They'd already had to increase the dosage of Dad's medication the last time I'd over done it, but adding magic into that equation on top of everything else would not be healthy. Mind you, after what had just happened, I felt that I was lucky to still be alive anyway, so I wasn't particularly bothered. McGonagall's lips had gone so thin; all you could see of them was the black line that parted them from each other.  
'That is enough! Mr. Weasley, fifty points shall be taken from Gryffindor, and you shall receive a week's worth of detentions. Homophobia will not be tolerated at Hogwarts! This outburst has put Gryffindor into minus figures before term has even started. I hope you are proud of yourself! Get yourself down to the hospital wing, and wait for me there to discuss your punishment. Mr. Potter, Miss. Granger, and Mr. Malfoy, please follow me. The rest of you, think about the events of tonight, and the consequences of such prejudice. Enjoy the feast.'  
Slowly, Harry and I walked through to the entrance hall, where we found Draco waiting for us, wearing an expression mixed between trepidation and laughter.  
'On the one hand, I am happy beyond words that my boyfriend fought for me, and then you both showed that ginger prick who's boss. On the other...'  
Harry looked up at him, a cheeky smirk playing around his mouth.  
'...violence at Hogwarts is strictly forbidden, and McGonagall was pulling a face that looked like she was about to murder someone's Nan, so in short we are all completely fucked?'  
Draco looked down at us both and grimaced.  
'Precisely.'  
Without warning, he pulled us both into a tight hug.  
'Thanks for having my back, guys!'  
'CAN'T. BREATHE. LUNGS. COLLAPSING.'  
He chuckled and promptly let go.  
'Sorry, I guess I'm just a hugger.'  
'I hate to break up the party, but I was under the impression that I asked you to follow me, not stand around as though you are waiting for the death sentence. Come along, please.'  
We all turned to see McGonagall striding away down a passage that led to a dimly lit, but warm room, rather like the feeling of a bonfire. She conjured four hard, straight back chairs with her wand, and beckoned us to sit down, wearing a stern frown on her face. We sat, Draco and I hanging our heads slightly. I hoped he wouldn't be punished, I mean he hadn't even done anything, except fall in love, and that wasn't illegal by any stretch of the imagination! Harry however, sat upright and looked McGonagall directly in the eye.  
'I know that cursing Ronald was irresponsible and unacceptable, Professor, but if you are going to punish us, let Draco and Hermione go. It is no fault of Draco's that I openly showed my affection for him, and when that was questioned, he did nothing to provoke any further attack. As for Hermione, she did jointly curse Ronald with me, but she only felt the need to because of traumatic experiences at her previous school that are still haunting her, and also, I was the one that brought the whole subject up. Opened the door to the bigotry, so if anyone is to be reprimanded, it should be me and not them.'  
I shot Harry a look that said _are you trying to get yourself killed? _But he merely shook his head slightly, and continued to eyeball McGonagall. She surveyed us all for a moment, and said the thing that none of us were expecting.  
'I admire your balls, Potter.'  
'That's what Draco said!'  
I clapped my hand over my mouth in horror, but the deed was done. I'd just made a sex joke in front of the deputy head. Ah, shit! Again, to our surprise, instead of telling me off, the corners of her mouth twitched, and she promptly pissed herself laughing. None of us knew what to do; it was all a bit confuzzling. She coughed her way back to seriousness, and then continued.  
'As I was saying, Potter, you've got more guts than most first-years would have on their first day, and I admire you for that. You have shown true loyalty to both Mr. Malfoy, and Miss. Granger, which you to be commended for. However, I must ask you to refrain from making that kind of blunt statement again. As you just witnessed, it doesn't end well, and people can get hurt. Neither the headmaster, nor I, wishes to punish you on this occasion, as you proved your strength of morals in a way that has not been seen at Hogwarts for several years. Next time, however, you may not get off so lightly. This applies to all three of you, is that clear?'  
'Yes, Professor.'  
She stood up and, with a small wave of her wand, summoned three plates of roast something (it looked like pork, but I couldn't really tell), and a large flagon of pumpkin juice. She then bent down and stole one of Draco's potatoes and strode briskly out of the door, making a noise that sounded like _omnomnom_. We all watched her go, and then I turned back to face the two boys.  
'I don't know about you, but that was all a bit surreal in my opinion. I was expecting a bollocking, and instead we got an apologetic warning, and a roast dinner...I frickin' love Hogwarts!'  
The boys looked at each other, looked back at me, and started to laugh in perfect unison, making me giggle too. When we finally stopped laughing, we were all ravenous, and, without any dignity whatsoever, all opened our mouths wide, and tipped the contents of our plates straight into our waiting gobs. Gross, I know, but immensely satisfying. After the last drop of pumpkin juice had gone, harry stood up and stretched, his tendons showing underneath the skin of his bony arms.  
'I don't know about you two, but I'm knackered. I'll see you in the morning, if Weasley doesn't smother me in my sleep.'  
He shot Draco a cheeky smile, but he didn't look amused.  
'Harry, that's not funny. Seriously, please don't wind him up anymore tonight; I don't want to have to kiss you piece by piece.'  
Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's neck and kissed him gently.  
'Stop worrying. You'll get yourself all hot and sweaty...actually, I've changed my mind. Worry. Then, I can get in the shower with you afterwards. Nighty night. You shall be in my heart and dreams all night, purely because of your hideously sexy arse.'  
Draco rolled his eyes in a playful fashion, and proceeded to snog Harry to within an inch of his life. I don't know why, but every time they kissed, a pain shot through my chest, as though I were being stabbed. Trying my best to pull myself together, I kissed them both on the cheek, and started the journey back to the girls' dorm. I had just reached the top of one of the many staircases, when a familiar voice floated into my ear.  
'Hey, Hermione right? Can you come in here a sec; I want to talk to you.'  
Leaning against the doorway of an empty classroom was the twatbucket. Oh goody!  
'What? You can talk to me here or not at all, I haven't got all night.'  
'Please? I need to apologise, but I can't do it where other people may see, I'll get nervous.'  
He looked genuinely upset, so I nodded and followed him into the room, where he shut the door.  
'Please tell harry and Malfoy that I'm sorry. It just...makes me a little uncomfortable. I feel awful, and want to make it up to them.'  
I nodded, but my feeling of uneasiness was increasing. With every word, he had taken a step towards me, so that I was now against the wall, very conscious of how close he was.  
'You're quite pretty, did you know?'  
His breath was tickling my face, warning me of what was about to happen.  
'When you cursed me earlier, I was just thinking about your body. I love women with a little fire.'  
He crushed his lips against mine with such force; it felt as if he was trying to go through my head. I tried to push him off me, but he grabbed a fistful of my robes and tore them clean off, leaving me in my underwear. He pushed onto the floor, treading on my arm so that I couldn't reach my wand. He was just beginning to unbuckle his belt, when he suddenly keeled over backwards, completely paralysed by a spell shot at him from behind me. I turned, to be faced by Harry, panting slightly, his wand pointed firmly at Weasley's face. He walked over to his paralysed body, and crouched down beside his face. He then whispered something, and the freckles on Weasley's face seemed to join up. When Harry straightened up, the freckles had permanently etched _'rapist'_ across his forehead.  
'You will never touch her again. If you do, I will come back, and I will finish the fucking job.'  
The venom in his voice sent shivers down my spine, sending out a clear message - he was not to be messed with. He then turned, and hurried over to me, took off his dressing gown, and wrapped it around me, whilst also pulling me into a gentle hug.  
'It's ok, it's me. I've got you. You're safe now. I'm here. I'll protect you. That son of a bitch won't EVER do that again, otherwise Draco and I will cut off his bollocks and force feed them to his mother.'  
This made me laugh, and Harry smiled, satisfied that he'd done his job. He slowly pulled me to my feet, and went to get my robes.  
'Are these the only robes you have?'  
I shook my head, still unwilling to speak.  
'Well, in that case, _INCENDIO_!'  
The robes burst into flames and began to shrivel up. I looked at harry, his face like stone. When the robes had been reduced to ashes, he lifted his wand again.  
'_AGUAMENTI!_'  
A rush of water issued from his wand tip, extinguishing the fire. He then turned to face my look of surprise at his high level of magical knowledge, and smiled.  
'You aren't the only one that likes to read, you know.'  
This reminded me of his comment to McGonagall, about the _traumatic experiences at her previous school. _I hadn't told anybody about that, apart from my parents.  
'How do you know so much about me, Harry? It's like your psychic. I never told you anything about my love for books, or my primary school, and yet you already know.'  
'You didn't need to tell me. You're eyes said it all. Everybody can see the mask of the smile, but only true friends bother to look behind it and see the pain. For example, when I looked into McGonagall's eyes, I saw that she is still grieving over a lover that parted from her several years ago, but she feels that she cannot talk about it, because it would compromise her ability to teach. It's easy. Look into my eyes, and tell me what you see.'  
Slowly, I looked into his eyes, and shivered again, though this time it was not due to an icy persona. His eyes were the brightest, most beautiful shade of green ever imaginable, and at that moment, they were entirely focused on me. _I can't tell him._ What I saw was the bravest, kindest, most decent person I had ever met, but I couldn't tell him that. Not under the circumstances.  
'You feel obliged to show your true morals and loyalty constantly to make up for the lack of affection shown to you throughout your childhood, and you are constantly wishing that your parents were still alive somewhere, so that they could remove you from the torture of Dursley life?'  
He smiled, making my heart melt even more.  
'Not bad, Granger. Missed a couple of points, but not bad. But anyway, enough of this. Your eyes are telling me that you're tired as fuck, so let's get to bed. If anyone gives you any grief, I'll sense it, and kick the crap out of them. I always know when people I care about are in trouble.'  
He walked me back to the common room, unaware of the hormonal war raging inside my head. When we finally got to the entrance of the girls' dorm, he hugged me, and then bid me goodnight. I waited for him to vanish up the stairs into the boys' dorm, and then collapsed into the nearest chair, silent tears pouring down my face. I was the friend of the two most controversial boys in the school, one of whom had just rescued me from being sexually attacked, and I was falling completely arse-over-tit for, despite the fact that he was in a completely serious relationship with my other friend. I tried to stay positive over the next few weeks, but at that time, all I could think was _Nice one, Granger_...


	8. Complications

**Complications – Harry**

I knew. I knew the minute she looked into my eyes. Hermione Granger was in pain again, and it was all my fault. After primary school, she was so broken that her heart was always going to latch onto the biggest source of comfort, and unfortunately, that happened to be me – and I would never feel the same way. I walked her back to the common room, glancing at her occasionally to make sure she didn't go into shock. When we finally got to the dormitory stairs, I kissed her cheek and bid her goodnight, but halted on the stairs to make sure she was ok, and that's when I heard it. That's when I heard the most heartbreaking sound of my life until that point. That's when she sobbed  
'Harry Potter, what have you done to me?'  
She was hurting more now than she ever had at the climax of her bullied, addiction-fed past. I was NOT going to be the one that pushed her back into that place. I would talk to Draco in the morning – he cared about Hermione almost as much as he cared about me. He would understand.

**Complications – Draco**

_Draco Abraxas Malfoy,  
How DARE you form a relationship with the Dark Lord's downfall! How DARE you exploit the name of Malfoy in this way! Need I remind you that our name holds a great power within the ministry? Not only have you disgraced this degree of honour with your dabbles in the realm of homosexuality, but you have disgraced your pure-blood status by befriending the Boy Who Lived. If you do not break off this perversion by the end of the month, I will officially disown you from my household, and come the uprising of the Death Eaters, you will be hunted down and killed for high treason to your Dark Master.  
Contact me when you have restored your brain, and figured out where your loyalties are laid.  
Your exceedingly disappointed father,  
Lucius._

My life as I knew it was over. Judgement day had arrived. My love or my family? Myself or the expectations? Light or eternal darkness? Life or potential death? Protection for myself or protection for my soul? I knew what I must do. I would do it before the deadline – no point dragging the pain out. I tried not to convey my emotion by hiding my face below my bowl of cornflakes, but he wasn't fooled – he always knew. Knowing that he was looking at me, I beckoned him outside. I couldn't look him in the eyes – my resolve would vanish into nothingness if I did.  
"Harry? I've got to tell you something."  
I knew what he was going to say before he even opened his mouth.  
"Draco, stop. You are not, and will never be your father's son. You are far kinder, braver, and _sexier _than he will ever be. And you will not be protecting me by leaving, you will be cursing me. Do you really want to see me grow to be cold and emotionless? Do you really want me to live without love? Do you really want me to become another Voldemort?"  
I closed my eyes and bowed my head, gritting my teeth for what I was about to say.  
"Harry, I don't love you. I never did, I was just trying to see whether you had any extraordinary talent with which you defeated the Dark Lord. It was all pretence, but I don't want to lead you on. I'm sorry."  
One look at his face, and the rest of my lies faltered. His eyes were moistened, like dewy grass, tears flowing freely down his face.  
"Despite the fact that none of that is true, I know you wouldn't have said it unless you were committed to this break-up. So I'll just say this – Hermione needs you. She needs both of us. Last night, when we'd left for bed, she was cornered and almost raped by that homophobic twat, Weasley. Luckily, I got there in time to stop him, but it shattered her, Draco. She's hardly hanging on, and you leaving our lives will tip her god knows where. Please, Draco. She thinks she loves me."  
It took a while to register what he'd just said.  
"She loves you? Of course! No wonder you got there in time, you probably wanted to finish Weasley's job! Well, let me tell you, _Potter_, you are now free to do so. So long, fanny-bandit, it's over."  
I walked away without another word, and he did nothing to stop me. I hadn't meant anything that I'd said, but being hurtful was the only way to keep him safe from my increasingly fucked-up world. If I was really destined for disaster, I would not bring him down with me. As for Hermione, my heart snapped in two just thinking about her. She had defended me without any hesitation – she had accepted a Slytherin without succumbing to prejudice...and I had betrayed her. I had betrayed everyone. I had become _him_.

**Complications – Hermione**

I watched as Harry followed Draco out of the Great hall, and I instantly knew something was wrong – the twinkle in Harry's eyes seemed to have gone out. I hovered in the doorway, and eavesdropped on the both of them – and what was left of my will to live crumpled, taking my knees with it. I slumped against the archway of the alcove as I took in what had been said. _You probably wanted to finish Weasley's job._ I knew Draco hadn't meant it. He was being deliberately hurtful so that Harry wouldn't have to deal with his shit. I recognised the tactic – I had used it on _her_. I had isolated myself, gotten myself bullied, driven myself to overdose, just to prevent her EVER living my nightmares. _Don't think about that. She's behind you now, just forget about it._  
Draco left, leaving Harry shaking in the corridor, completely broken. It was my time to play healer – my turn to stop the pain.  
"I brought you some toast. Walk to Herbology with me?"  
He opened his mouth, bit his lip and screwed up his eyes, and nodded, his tears now streaming steadily down his face, emphasising his cheekbones. We walked through the castle grounds towards the greenhouses, the earth littered with the soggy, autumnal leaves of various exotic plants that I didn't recognise. Harry, his glasses fogged up with the heat from his traumatised face, tried to sit on the bench, but stumbled and cracked his face on the hard desk. Shakily, he leaned against my shoulder, and sobbed. Sobbed, until there was nothing left to cry out. Professor Sprout gave us a questioning look, indicating that she thought Harry was ill.  
"Professor, please may I have the notes for this lesson? Only I think I should take Harry to the hospital wing, he doesn't seem very well."  
The flyaway professor observed us for a moment, her eyes following the growing stain on my jumper made from Harry's weeping.  
"You may, Miss Granger. Don't worry about coming back; he looks like he needs the support. Keep me posted."  
I nodded in thanks, and, with difficulty, hoisted Harry over my back in a fireman's lift – he was shaking too much to even stand up. I didn't take him to the hospital wing though – there was no medicine that would help him now. Instead, I carried him up to his four-poster bed and lay him down, wrapping his scarlet blanket around his back. I rubbed my hand up and down his arm, soothing him and calming him as the worst of the sobs racked through his chest, each one piercing my own heart. After what seemed like hours, he finally sat up, his eyes washing up and down my face.  
"I'm sorry. I know that can't have been easy for you to overhear"  
I didn't even ask how he knew I was there – he'd already told me that he always knew when his friends were in pain.  
"Harry, I know you can tell how much I love you. But I want you to know that I'll never try anything. I'll always be at your side, but as a true friend. That's more than I will EVER deserve..."  
My words were cut off as Harry leaned forward, and kissed me gently on the lips. It took every bit of my restraint not to kiss him back. He pulled away, smiling faintly bitterly.  
"Harry, I can't and neither can you. You've only just broken up with a guy you were completely smitten with, and I'm still recovering from someone that completely fucked my mind up once already. I love you more than life itself, but I can't go through that again. I will not be forever overshadowed."  
When he met my eyes, he looked wiser, older beyond his years, and it increased my affection for him even further as I realised that this wise man sat before me was the by-product of a childhood filled with neglect and hatred.  
"Hermione, I kissed you, not because I am on the rebound, not because I think of you as second best. I kissed you because I need you. I need a true, loyal friend to keep me sane, to keep me the rational Harry, rather than the unstable, broken Harry that belongs to the Dursleys. I kissed you because you need me. You desperately need somebody to keep you on the straight and narrow, to stop you from going back to the shadows. I kissed you because we truly need each other. I kissed you because you love me deeply, and in my own, fucked-up, mental way, I love you too. Can you cope with that?"  
He was so wise, so sacrificial for my own sanity...he was so beneficial. I didn't answer him; I just pulled him forward by the front of his robes, and kissed him with all the energy I was so lacking before, holding onto him until I had no oxygen left. We broke apart, panting slightly and looked at each other. There was a pregnant pause, full of the unsaid pain we were both feeling, and we both opened our mouths at the same time, to say the same thing. We both laughed gingerly, the mask of our smile hiding our inner torture.  
"I love you, P..."  
"Shh, honey."  
Harry wiped away my tears as I simultaneously brushed away his. He looked straight into my chocolate eyes, staring straight into my aching soul.  
"I know."


	9. Coping Strategies

**Coping Strategies - Hermione**

"_FREAK! QUEER! YOU NEVER COME NEAR ME AGAIN, YOU SKANKY DYKE!"_

I was cowering, she was screaming. I was crying, they were laughing. I was shaking, they were kicking.

"_Please. I can't help it, Kim. PLEASE!"_

"Hermione?"

I felt a hand on my back, and tensed.

"_You'll pay for making a berk out of me! You'll pay, Granger, you'll fucking pay!"_

I curled up, desperately trying to fight her off.

"HERMIONE, WAKE UP!"

I woke with a start, the image of her toffee hair fading rapidly as a pair of startling-green, concern-filled eyes met mine. Harry stroked my back soothingly, gently kissing the top of my head. It'd been five years since we first got together, and we still hadn't beaten the dreams. They weren't as frequent as they used to be, but they were still there.

"I'm s..."

He put a finger to my lips, cutting off my apology.

"Enough. We go through this every time. What happened to you is not your fault. You do not have to apologise for anything, honey, especially not to me. I still dream about someone I was only with for two days, so I'm pretty sure we're even."

I moved closer to him, nuzzling my head into his skinny neck. Although we'd been officially 'dating' all this time, we were in a comfort-only relationship. We hadn't even kissed since the first time. We couldn't, we were both too fucked up.

"I'm pretty sure we're odd actually, Harry..."

As he began to laugh, I began to slip slowly back to sleep, his chest providing a comforting pillow to lay my messy head upon.

**Coping Strategies – Draco**

"_He should feel honoured, Cissy. It is an honour to serve the Dark Lord."_

"_He's just a boy, Bella. He's sixteen. He is just. A. Boy."_

Thinking back now, I realised just how wrong my mother had been. I was no longer a boy. I had left my childhood behind all too quickly, and yet I couldn't call myself a man. To be a man, you needed balls. Slytherin's didn't have balls, they just relied on being protected by the powers that be. In my father's case, that was now me. If I failed, I knew I'd be dead. That wasn't something that concerned me. What concerned me was that my father was a dangerous man when vulnerable. What concerned me was that this dangerous nature had manifested into blackmail. What concerned me was that if I failed, he would kill Harry. I had rarely spoken to Harry since that last night, and I didn't intend to. He had already killed me more than a flick of Voldemort's wand could.

"_By the end of the year, make sure Dumbledore is dead...Or, I'LL make sure that YOU will be...and your bum-buddy won't be spared either."_

I looked down at the skull, forever enslaving me to his service. I closed my eyes, squeezing a tear from underneath the eyelids, and I wished. Wished that my mother's words had been true. Wished that I could be a boy. Wished that I could go back to how everything used to be. Back to him. I knew that he was on to me – he'd been trying to catch me out ever since he overheard us on the train. The worst part was, when he looked at me, he wasn't disgusted. He wasn't even disappointed. He put a mask on, and he was emotionless. He was protecting me yet again, and yet again it did more harm than good. In short, I was completely fucked...


End file.
